Andrea C., ESP OSG Member: I’m so thankful for you & Clay ! I don’t think I would have known how to respond appropriately to seeing him without you guys and I’ve gained so much personal independence through this too. Thanks again!
Jean J. ESP OSG Member: Hello, its been 6 months since my wife left, its been a tuff time especially the first weeks and months. The course provided me with everything i needed to understand where my relationship had gone wrong and gave excellent techniques on how to bring the person back into my life. Some of the techniques seemed counter intuitive to start with but the more i applied them the more i noticed that they were really working. I’m now back on good speaking terms with my ex, we enjoy each others company and it feels like we are building something positive, its not romantic yet but she has been confiding in me about her rebound relationship and telling me that its not working and she misses the things we did together when she is with him. She told me she wants to break it off with him and is giving positive signs that there might be a future for us.
Thanks for all the resources and support – its a really great course that i would recommend to without hesitation.
Jennifer M. ESP OSG Member:
This is a very long story and I have posted most of it on here so if u really want to get in to the details I tried to post all along. Also, I will say that I started this program to get my ex hubby back but I was in no shape to do it so the first couple posts are about him. I started dating Joey which is my ex I got back. We only dated for a short time but we had a very deep connection. I broke things off becuz his job was driving me nuts as a truck driver…his hours were insane and I felt I could never see this man.
I regretted the break up from the moment I did it. He would never take me back as he was hurt that I did it to start with. I went into ANC from go. Did a few weeks and he contacted me but I kept it up. Then we did see each other but it was too much too soon. I spent the weekend with him.
Too much!! (Oct 31 2014)Then I backed off again for a couple weeks and tried to go a bit slower we made it to the end of the dragon/start of crisis and I went into DCM. Well, he met a new girl online and started talking to me less and less.finally we had a fight and he told me to never call him again. When I went to get my stuff from him I was crying and told him I was sorry and that I never intended on loosing his friendship.
He said we could be friends someday but he need to get his head straight and he would call(June 12, 2014). Well, 3 months in and no call. I was driving by his job one day and i sent him a message saying hey did u switch jobs? He said are u hinting for my new number? I said what? He said, call me and gave me his new number. (Sept 2015) We talked a good while and he never mentioned a girlfriend. I started contacting him every now and again to chat or with an interesting fact. I was taking reiki at the time and he was very interested in it. He actually came to my house twice for it. When i was walking him out I noticed he was in a different car and asked whose it was….he said his gf. He had been with her since the same time we stopped talking.
WOW. I played it cool and just kept on. Decoy effect! Finally one night we were talking a few weeks later and he told me he moved out from her home.(Jan 2015) He said they had grown to be just friends..WHEW!!!!! I was thinking rebound!!!! lol But he started writing me out of the blue about then too. I was like oh game on!!! And it began. ARS!!!!! Be curious!!!! He asked me to go camping with him and his kids not long after that at cabin at the lake. He would kiss me one minute and say we were friends the next!! Driving me nuts!!!! I was not perfect I did loose composure a couple times but I feel we had the emotional currency to stay connected.
When we hit the crisis point it was just like Clay says they get weird! We were talking and hanging out all the time until one day my love pulled WAY back. I was asking him what was wrong and it was nothing. I was trying to be calm and honestly I did not do perfect. I finally asked him no really where have u gone? He told me that he had started to get feelings and he was getting emotional and cry a lot etc so he pulled back to process it all and do mindless things and asked me to left him process. It was shortly after that he really started coming around and he told me that he loved me and wanted to give us a try. We had a our new beginnings talk about 3 days ago and when he left my house he text me, I love u jenn!!! You make me happy!!
Awww….I would say not getting caught up in it and keeping composure were the hardest parts for me! Like how the heck do I keep composure when this dude has called me everyday for 3 months and has up a disappeared after we had a great Easter together?? So yeah, my advice is to try not to get caught up in it. It is going to be crazy and take longer than u think. We broke up Nov. 22nd, 2014 btw. Dont forget to love u and not think of this all the time. I would post reminder notes on my wall to be curious, keep composure etc. Less is more and any progress is forward. The turtle wins the race. Good luck guys!!! This program can only work if you do it and that does not mean that it will work every time but for me it is was worth the chance of just seeing if it could work!!!
Michelle M. ESP OSG Member: Hi OSG! I haven’t been on too much lately, but I’ve been in the ESP program for a little more than six months. D and I are dating without being in a labeled relationship yet.
I need certain things from him before I’m ready to do that again. We see eachother 3-4 times a week and talk for hours; it’s amazing! We talk every day and he always says goodnight and “I love you” before bed. The period of time where we were required to be Seperated before filing for divorce has come and gone with no intention from him to actually do so.
There is just this connection and appreciation for one another between us that I never dreamed could exist! What a loooonnngggg six months! There was a rebound that only recently has been out of the picture. It’s been a roller coaster and more than once have I almost given up. But I’m at a place now that’s so fufilling that I’m not worried about an end game! And it’s all because of ARS.
The most fundamental piece of advice that I can give is: you HAVE to love yourself before you can progress in ARS. Without being ok with who you are and being ENOUGH for yourself, you’ll never be able to fully get out of DCM. You’ll always be focused on the end game because you believe the relationship bring you validation and happiness instead of realizing that you’re the only person who can provide those things. Being your own person, with your own goals and dreams is so attractive! The only person you can rely and count on at the end of the day is yourself so put YOU first and make YOU a priority instead of “getting your ex back”.
If you NEED your ex, then that’s a sign that you need ANC and to self improve. Accept, Accept, Accept. D works a lot and sometimes he doesn’t want to spend one of his days off with me. Sometimes he wants to spend it with a friend. Sometimes his depression magnifys and he doesn’t want to talk for a couple days.
He is his own person and his choices and actions are a reflection of himself and not a representation of my worth. If you really truely love someone, you’ll give them the space and acceptance to be themselves without pressure. Not abiding someone’s wishes, like pushing your ex into a romantic roll when they’re uncomfortable is selfish and immature.
Process not events. Oh lord, I cannot stress this enough! I had a very hard time until I really took this to heart. Focusing on ARS and being the best version of yourself really is the only way to do it! Focusing on the end game or events are going to make you unhappy and who likes to be unhappy??
I suggest reading Clay’s book Be Loved For Who You Are. He really goes into depth on how to overcome your BS machine and how to change your belief system. There are a lot of questions on the MQAs that make me wonder if some people actually listened to the modules. Seriously, focus on this program and you will achieve your goal. It’s very simple, maybe not easy, but so so simple!! I wish everyone good luck.
Oiva., ESP Member: Hi my name is Oiva and have been a member of Ex Solution Program for a while since 2014. I have great news to share I have gotten back together with my ex for a month. Now things between us are going well my story goes like this: After trying everything to get him back for more than a year. i stop trying and moved on with my life we remain friends and I would contact him some times just to greet him sometimes he replyed sometimes not. One day he just sms me saying “baby i want you back i love you” i thought he was not serious but he insisted to see me than we met and kissed he told me he loves me an want to be with me. i just want to tell people trying to get their ex back not to give up the program does work thank you to everyone that helped me throught the difficult times.
Zoe L., ESP OSG Member: Could you please post my success story in the OSG? I’m hoping this will be a source of encouragement for everyone in the community: Last night my ex asked if he could come over because he really wanted to see me. I reluctantly agreed.
The second I opened the door, he walked in without saying a word, grabbed me and picked me up, then said, “I’m still in love with you.” My heart jumped out of my chest! I couldn’t believe it was happening, especially after I’d given up on the idea of reconciliation because it seemed impossible at that point.
I honestly owe it all to active no contact. Time away from my ex was much needed. It was so important to get “me” back. Working on ARS was equally important. It helped me communicate with my ex in a way I never thought I could. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t an easy process. And, if any of you remember, I did give up on the idea of getting back together at one point. But time allowed my ex to come around and it let me get to a healthier, more balanced place in my life.
If you feel that time away from your ex is needed, I would highly recommend it. Practice ARS whenever you can and no matter how discouraged you may feel, just remember that getting back together with your ex really can happen. So please keep your chin up. Thank you all for your support while I was a member of OSG. I will miss you all dearly.
Tammy C., ESP OSG Member: Hi Clay, Just a quick note to let you know that your program saved my relationship. I followed your program to the T. I definitely had to challenge myself with some of your steps. The no contact, changing my thought process and becoming the person I was when we met and a personal choice to start a new relationship in lew of going back to where we were when I left him.
I also had to choose to forgive him and he had to forgive me and let the past go. Once I made it past “that wall” you spoke about in your lessons. It didn’t happen overnight. We split up in April and no contact for 7 very long weeks. We start with a few texts, then a few phone calls. We finally seen each other in August and kept in contact. Finally in September he invited me to go back to our home in NC from Florida and it is brand new for us.
When we finally decided to let the past go. I understand it’s still new but we’ve been able to put everything out on the table maturely and decided those things weren’t worth losing all the good things we do have together.
We are both over 50 yrs old. We may never find this again. He is once again comfortable telling me things, the jealousy is gone, we once again laugh and joke around. I cannot thank you enough!
Charmaine., ESP OSG Member: I am exceedingly happy to be moving on to a new relationship with my ex, now boyfriend. I won’t ever forget your support, encouragement and guidance. With many of you, I have shared a unique camaraderie which I know will continue for years to come. I now look forward to whatever life and love uncovering new and exciting experiences. I have no doubt my new relationship with my ex will add and enrich my relationship with him, with others but more importantly with myself. I deeply appreciated having this wonderful opportunity to work, grow and learn with you all.
As heart-breaking as it is to share these unfortunate circumstances, I am ever so grateful to have shared an abundance of over joyous-AND the deeply painful moments with all of you. It is important for you to know that I will treasure our ESP/OSG companionship immensely and to no end. I like to think I have extended that same sentiment to all of you. I hope that I too have had a momentous impact on all of you as well. I cannot find the words to detail the countless heartfelt moments that I will reflect on, and will sincerely miss here. In sum, I wish all of you every success and all it’s future endeavors. One last question before I say good-bye, for Clay, Mika and the ESP Team: HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU!!!?
Angie C., ESP OSG Member: When we saw each other, it felt like time has not passed. We talked over dinner and I was in a good place. He told me that he has been dating around and has yet to find someone like me. As we walked to his car, I was nervous and I knew that I need to keep it cool. J. opened the car door for me and we sat in his car for a while. He kept telling me he wanted to date me again just for fun and I said well I am not that girl. He kissed me but I knew that he was lying to me, he still loved me. I could tell by his body language. I told him your in love with me still and you won’t admit it.
We hung out the last couple of times and it was nice but one night he came to my neck of the woods and told me he loved me and that he wants to be with me… J. told me he will make sure not to hurt me again and be present in my life as he should have been. I told him I can live without you but I don’t want to. We are together but there is no title yet because we are taking it really slow. I noticed how mature he is now and doesn’t get jealous as easy anymore. I’m not as clingy, we don’t talk everyday or hang out everyday but there is enough communication where I know where we stand. J. told me he knows I am the one and still wants to marry me when the time is right.
Sam W., ESP OSG Member: Hey Clay and Mika, I just wanted to drop you guys a quick email to inform you of some great news. Abi and I are officially back together! Thank you so much for all your help and guidance throughout these 7 long months. When I look back, I couldn’t have imagined we’d be back together but applying what you teach – It happened. Truly inspirational.
Mart P.. ESP Member: Just wanted to let you know that I got back together with my ex! I waited for her to contact me and we met face to face. I used the techniques I had been practicing and we had a good long chat about everything. At the end of the day she realised that she loved me more than she ever has before and within a week we were back together, stronger than before! Thank you all so much for this program, it has been the reason that my heart is now full with love again! Yours extatically, Martin x
Edwin M., ESP PP OSG Member: My wife and I are on the road to reconciliation and we’ve been dating, hanging out together and wearing our wedding bands again. We’re in the early stages of making plans for building a house where we can all live and start afresh… Along with my faith in Christ and your private community, I was able to understand my wife’s emotions and how to respond so that I’m sensitive with her but without compromising what’s important to me was something that I had to learn in a very pragmatic and real way.
Rachel C., ESP OSG Member: You and everyone else in the OSG has helped me so much along my journey, but I am happy to say that my ex and I are officially back together! I don’t think I ever would have been able to accomplish it without everything I learned about composure and empathy and everything else in the program.
Boonyi K., ESP OSG Member: I am writing to tell you that, after 6 months and a half following your advice to the letter, I got my ex back! Here is a little feedback and my own success story, feel free to publish it on your website if you want to. Yesterday night, as my ex held my hand, told me I was the only woman he ever wanted to be with, and asked me to go back with him, my thoughts went to you and your program.
THANK YOU so much for making this possible. Your newsletter, podcasts, videos, and classes have not only provided with much precious advice, but also kept me hopeful and positive. Finding Clay’s emails in my mailbox everyday meant so much for me. When I was feeling sad, and it seemed to me that mine was a lost cause, watching Clay’s videos gave me endless confidence and motivation. After six months and a half of patience and commitment, I got my ex back! With much, much gratitude.
Jennifer T., ESP Member: I was a customer of yours about a year ago. Thank you for your program. After the break up you helped me see that my relationship with my now husband could be much stronger than it was before. I continue to see the potential fir growth in any difficulty I face with my spouse. What you gave me was a perspective change. Because of you, my husband and I are expecting a new baby boy on Oct. 5th. Because of your help, there is a new life coming into the world where as during the break up things looked like a disaster.
Beth D., ESP Member: I live in Canada and my husband left for the Philippines where he found the woman and lived with her for about a year. He said they broke up several times during the year they were together and just knew it will never work. We are now carefully planning our getting back together and we both agreed it will not be the same relationship he walked out of. Believe me I learned a lot from you and can never thank you enough. What a comfort you are to me during my darkest hours. I thought how can this young couple have so much wisdom? Keep up the good work and thank you again. I feel that you are sincere in wanting to help others.
Emma Z., ESP OSG Member: It’s been amazingly supportive to be a part of through a really tough few months for me. Thank you to you & everyone for your advice. It really was such a help to be able to be open and honest with questions when I felt so confused. And having such clear perspectives given by others gave me real peace and positive direction. And it all worked!
My husband had moved home and we have a new open hearted relationship, things are better than ever. Thank you to you, Clay, Mika and the team. What a wonderful, positive and life changing experience I’ve had through ESP.
Kay, ESP OSG Member:
Hi, everyone! So, I’m thinking it’s time to take my leave. I got my ex back using this program a month ago, and I’m thinking it’s time for me to sign off for now. Thanks for all your help, and to everyone out there trying to get their ex back, know that it’s all mind over matter. You can make it happen for you (I made it happen in three months).
Jason M., ESP MLA Member:
I’m happy to say that my ex and I are finally working things out thanks to your amazing program. All the personal growth that I have gone through in the process has helped me feel a sense of ownership in my life and has helped me communicate with people overall more effectively. Thank you!!! We are back in a relationship and things are better than ever. In fact, we are currently looking for our dream house to live in. Which brings me to my main reason for this email. I hate to have to go, but I need to shut down my OSG membership monthly expense.
Nareena S. ESP Member
I wanted to write to you to express my gratitude. My ex and I had been together for 1.5 years and living together for a 1 when he decided that he just couldn’t do it anymore and moved out. I was devastated and all my friends told me to just move on, but I knew that we had a connection I had never experienced before and that we really were meant to be together.I have been focusing on the emotional connection with my ex and more importantly finding happiness and success for myself. I am so grateful that I can write to you today to say that we are back together and our love feels more connected and stronger than ever. Thank you so much for your honestly and focus on being active and not playing bullshit mind games. I have learned so much about how to build a healthy lasting relationship from you, and I plan to continue to read your newsletter to remind me how to continue to keep our relationship strong. Thank you!
Jean, ESP MLA Member
Hello, its been 6 months since my wife left, its been a tuff time especially the first weeks and months. The course provided me with everything i needed to understand where my relationship had gone wrong and gave excellent techniques on how to bring the person back into my life. Some of the techniques seemed counter intuitive to start with but the more i applied them the more i noticed that they were really working. I’m now back on good speaking terms with my ex, we enjoy each others company and it feels like we are building something positive, its not romantic yet but she has been confiding in me about her rebound relationship and telling me that its not working and she misses the things we did together when she is with him. She told me she wants to break it off with him and is giving positive signs that there might be a future for us. Thanks for all the resources and support – its a really great course that i would recommend to without hesitation.
Cameron A. ESP OSG
I was part of this course, part of the osg. Eventually I became a poor student and had to cancel my membership…but I did get my ex back!! Is there a book or something I can read on actually keeping her this time?
ESP MLA Member
I just got a phone call that shocked me big time. A. called me today on my lunch break and said she has been thinking and she wants us to work on US. She admitted that she has been being mean and holding back how she really feels about me because she was hurt and she wanted to have her own way, but she sees that I really want us to work and that I always have her back. She said that she never should have left and that she should have stuck it out with us and that what happened between us didn’t have to cause us to break up. She asked me if I would take her back… WOW! she asked me that. I still cant believe what she just said to me. I told her I want to take it slow because I don’t want us to fall apart again but I do want a chance for us to get it right.
I just want all of you to know that a change can come and that I was a person who dealt with a ex that did everything they could to make me feel bad push me away and make me feel they never loved me but i see now that deep down that was just a cover up. I still want to continue working on my ARS because I know they will better help me understand the issues between A. and I. I still feel like IM dreaming but i will still take it one step at a time. I want to continue to be here for the group because you all are like my family that was there fr me when I was lost. Im here for you guys too. This is a great step and I want to continue to grow.
ESP MLA Member
It took me a year to get back together.
My success was due to learning the skills and focusing on the connection only, despide of all my odds that were:
- we spoke only by email
- we live in different continents
- he was on a rebound relationship
- he said he didn’t love me anymore
- we had broken up twice
We are back together it’s been a month now and as he still works in another continent, he will change his residency from another country to my country and we will live together when he is on vacation, which happens every month and a half.
From when I started learning the relational skills and putting it into practice, it took 8 months, the other 4 months I was doing the wrong things….so we were one year apart
I am sharing with a grateful heart and my advice is: work in yourself, we absolutely need to change ourselves aquiring those skills in order to be ready! many fields in my life were also improved by it.
I understand now the step back ( our breakups) was just to help me to jump higher!